October Horror 2012: .com for murder

.com for murder is terribad.  Let's just get that out of the way:  This is one of the worst movies I have ever watched.  The only things that kept me from stopping midway through was that I wasn't expecting much to begin with and it was on the list for this month's marathon.



So .com for murder is a 2001 internet/crime/thriller written and directed by Nico Mastorakis and starring Nastassja Kinski, Roger Daltrey, and Nicollette Sheridan.  Though, realistically I noticed Huey Lewis and Melinda Clarke more.  Roger Daltrey is barely in the movie and the other two I didn't recognize at all.

Nastassja is presumably Roger Daltrey's wife and inexplicably in a leg cast.  They have some chit-chat where he proves he's the MAN and insults the entire female gender as being technologically inept, then leaves for a business trip.  The wife is left alone with her sister to take care of her since she's in a cast, and immediately guesses the password to Daltrey's internet account and hops on an erotic chat room.  She hits on a girl that seems like she knows the screen name and then trolls some guy who is doing stuff in the room no one else can do.

This guy, woah, this guy.  In his intro scene he is: Butt nekkid in a dark room with a huge TV-monitor, watching naked dancers blue-screened onto fire backgrounds.  He's wearing a beanie, and has a ring painted around one eye.  He's using a wireless keyboard that glows and has these little lights velcro'd to his fingers.  He spends the entire movie quoting angst-ridden poetry, apparently from Faust.  His only motivation to kill is for revenge since he thinks Daltrey's character had trolled him, and then curls up in his HUGE bathtub and cries.

The whole thing is non-sensical and character motivations are bizarre.  The technology in the movie has absolutely no resemblance to anything that has ever existed.  In one scene the killer is signed off and there are just low flames animating on his screen, I jokingly said "That must be his FIRE WALL, OHHHHH!"  However, I was right and the screen was labeled "Firewall active".  Literally the worst pun I could think of was what the writers decided to go with.  It's just silly, poorly conceived, nonsense.  Maybe Internet week was a poor choice.

ONWARD!  To Hellworld!