October Horror Season 2: Day 6

For vampire week day 6, we watched Dracula 3000 starring Casper Van Dien and ...wait for it... Coolio.



You know you're in for a great movie when Coolio's on the cast.  I mean, let's look at this guy's filmography for just a second:  Pterodactyl, Gang Warz, China Strike Force, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth, The Convent (which is funny as all hell, by the way), ... OH DEAR GOD HE WAS IN BATMAN & ROBIN!  Batman & Robin!!! BAT NIPPLES! BAT CREDIT CARD!!!!
Anyway, so you know if it's got Coolio, it'll be a hilariously amusing train wreck.

Moving on.  The plot of Dracula 3000 is that Count Orlock somehow either escaped Earth and camped out in a planetary system that just so happened to be named the Carpathian System.  That or all vampires are aliens.  Anyway, planet Carpathia dies out so he hops a galactic transport ship that just so happened to be named the Demeter at Transylvania Station and books passage to Earth.  Not too long into the voyage he gets hungry and starts taking out the crew, turning them all into vampires.  The captain tries to blow the ship up but gets stopped by Orlock.  Fast forward 50 years, the lesser vampires have turned to sand and Casper Van Dien's Abraham Van Helsing arrives on the scene to salvage the ship.  I explained this so I could make the point that this is not a subtle film.  Also, there is a crew member named Mina.  About as subtle as a kick in the teeth.

Anyway, the movie has next to no budget and it shows.  But the cinematography is decent enough that the cheap sets pull off a convincing backdrop.  For what it is it's pretty well-written and well-produced, even the acting is decent enough.  There's no real drama, so basic emoting is more than enough to carry the jokes.  All in all, I can't think of a reason not to watch this.  It's not scary, so if you're expecting a movie that's funny because it's bad this isn't it.  But it is a well done spoof, not Mel Brooks caliber or anything, but obvious and funny.  And compared to last night's unholy haul, a nice short breeze.